What Words Should not Speak?

The power of the tongue is immense. Our words can build up or tear down, heal or wound, speak truth or spread falsehood. As followers of Christ, we are called to be mindful of the words we utter, ensuring they align with the love, truth, and holiness of God. Scripture provides clear guidance on the kinds of words we should refrain from speaking. Let us examine these categories.

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A. Soft and flattering words (to deceive) (Proverbs 29:5; Romans 16:18)

"Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet." (Proverbs 29:5) "For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people." (Romans 16:18) Words that are excessively smooth, flattering, or insincere, especially when intended to manipulate or deceive others, should not pass our lips. Our communication should be characterized by honesty and genuine care, not by manipulative flattery.

B. Bad or misleading words (1 Peter 3:10)

"For, 'Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.'" (1 Peter 3:10) Peter exhorts us to keep our tongues from evil and our lips from deceitful speech if we desire to love life and see good days. This encompasses words that are harmful, corrupting, or intended to mislead others from the truth.

C. Dishonest words (Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:8)

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29) "But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." (Colossians 3:8) Dishonest words, including those that are unwholesome, corrupting, or filthy, have no place in the speech of a believer. Our words should be edifying, building others up, and reflecting the purity of Christ.

D. Lies to each other (Colossians 3:9; James 4:11)

"Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices." (Colossians 3:9) "Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it." (James 4:11) Lying in any form is contrary to the nature of God, who is truth. As those who have put on the new self in Christ, we must put away falsehood and speak truthfully with one another. James also warns against speaking against or judging our brothers and sisters, which can be a form of verbal dishonesty and harm.

E. Needs and troubles (Ephesians 5:4; 1 Timothy 5:13)

"nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." (Ephesians 5:4) "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to." (1 Timothy 5:13) While it's important to share genuine burdens with trusted individuals, Ephesians warns against obscenity, foolish talk, and coarse joking, which do not edify. 1 Timothy cautions against idle gossip and saying things we ought not, which can often involve dwelling excessively on trivial needs and troubles in a way that is unproductive or harmful.

F. False testimony, blasphemies (Matthew 15:18; Proverbs 16:19; 19:9; 25:18)

"But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them." (Matthew 15:18) "Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud." (Proverbs 16:19 - contextually, this warns against prideful speech and actions) "A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish." (Proverbs 19:9) "Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is one who bears false witness against a neighbor." (Proverbs 25:18) False testimony, blasphemies against God, and any words that bear false witness against our neighbor are grave sins of the tongue. Our speech should be truthful and respectful of God and others.

G. Curses (James 3:9; Proverbs 20:20)

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness." (James 3:9) "If someone curses their father or mother, their lamp will be snuffed out in utter darkness." (Proverbs 20:20) Cursing or invoking evil upon others is a direct contradiction to the love and blessing we are called to extend. James highlights the hypocrisy of praising God with the same tongue we use to curse those made in His image.

H. Words of slander (1 Timothy 3:11; Titus 3:2)

"In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything." (1 Timothy 3:11 - referring to deacons' wives or women deacons) "to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all people." (Titus 3:2) Slander, or speaking falsely and harmfully about others, is a destructive use of the tongue. As believers, we are called to speak well of others and to promote unity and peace, not division and ill will.

I. Lying words (Proverbs 12:22; 14:5; 17:4; Ephesians 4:25)

"The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy." (Proverbs 12:22) "A truthful witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies." (Proverbs 14:5) "A wicked person listens to deceitful lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue." (Proverbs 17:4) "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25) Lying in all its forms is an abomination to God. As members of one body in Christ, we are called to speak truth to one another in love and unity.

J. Words that sow discord among brothers (Proverbs 6:19; 17:9)

"...a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community." (Proverbs 6:19) "Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." (Proverbs 17:9) Words that spread gossip, stir up conflict, or create division among believers are harmful and contrary to the unity we are called to maintain in the body of Christ. We should be peacemakers, not troublemakers.

K. Words of anger (Proverbs 15:1, 18; 16:32; 29:22; James 1:19-20)

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) "A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but a patient person calms a quarrel." (Proverbs 15:18) "Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city." (Proverbs 16:32) "An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins." (Proverbs 29:22) "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." (James 1:19-20) Words spoken in anger often escalate conflict and can cause deep hurt. We are called to be slow to anger and to let our speech be seasoned with grace and gentleness.

Therefore, let us be diligent in guarding our tongues. May we speak words that are true, honest, edifying, kind, and that promote love and unity. Let us refrain from words that deceive, mislead, harm, lie, slander, curse, sow discord, or are spoken in anger. May our speech always reflect the character of Christ and bring glory to God. Amen.

What Words Should not Speak?