How to Honor Father and Mother?
Title: Honor Your Father and Your Mother
Text: Exodus 20:12; Matthew 15:4
Introduction
Among the Ten Commandments, the fifth occupies a unique position. It is the first commandment with a promise, and it serves as the bridge between our duties toward God and our duties toward our fellow man. To honor our parents is not merely a social suggestion or a cultural tradition; it is a divine mandate that reflects our reverence for the God who established the family unit.
In a world that increasingly prizes individual autonomy and often dismisses the wisdom of previous generations, the biblical call to "honor" stands as a radical challenge. What does it truly mean to honor our parents in the 21st century? How do we live this out when relationships are complicated? Today, we will explore the depth of this commandment and the spiritual blessings tied to its fulfillment.
I. The Biblical Meaning of Honoring Parents
To "honor" (Hebrew: kabôd) literally means to give "weight" or "glory" to someone. It is to treat their position with the gravity it deserves.
• Respect and Value: Honoring begins with recognizing that God has placed our parents in a position of authority. We are called to hold them in high esteem and deep reverence (Romans 13:7). Proverbs reminds us that a wise son hears his father’s instruction (Proverbs 1:8; 13:1).
• Obedience with the Right Attitude: For children and youth, honor is synonymous with obedience. Colossians 3:20 says this pleases the Lord. We see the ultimate example in Jesus Christ, who, despite being the Creator, remained submissive to His earthly parents in Nazareth (Lucas 2:51).
• Care and Provision: As parents age, the definition of honor shifts from obedience to stewardship. We are called to support them in their time of need (1 Timothy 5:4). To neglect an elderly parent is to "despise" them in their old age (Proverbs 23:22; Psalm 71:9).
• Words and Deeds: Honor is not a sentiment; it is an action. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for honoring God with their lips while their hearts were far from Him (Marcos 7:6). Likewise, our honor toward parents must be visible in how we speak to them and what we do for them.
• The Limits of Honor: While the command is broad, it is not absolute. We are never required to obey a command that forces us to sin. Our primary allegiance is to God (Acts 5:29). We honor the person even if we must respectfully decline a sinful action (Ezekiel 20:18-19).
II. Practical Ways to Honor Your Parents
How does this commandment look in the "everyday" moments of life?
• Respectful Disagreement: Even when we differ in opinion, we must address our elders with the respect due to their age and position (1 Timothy 5:1-2).
• Patience and Learning: We honor them by being "quick to hear and slow to speak" (Santiago 1:19), valuing the years of experience they carry.
• Forgiveness and Grace: No parent is perfect. Honoring often requires us to extend the same grace to them that God has extended to us (Mateo 6:14-15).
• Constant Communication and Presence: Maintaining the family bond through visits and regular communication is a vital way to show they are valued (Proverbs 17:6; 2 John 12).
• Material and Emotional Support: This includes helping with physical tasks, financial needs, or simply providing emotional comfort during the trials of aging (1 Timothy 5:4).
• Loving Correction: If a parent must be corrected, it should be done in a spirit of gentleness and deep respect (Proverbs 15:23; Galatians 6:1).
• Gratitude for Legacy: We honor them by remembering and building upon the spiritual and moral foundations they laid for us (2 Timothy 1:5).
III. The Consequences of Dishonor
The Bible takes the rejection of parental authority very seriously, viewing it as a symptom of a deeper spiritual decay.
• Gravity in the Law: Under the Old Covenant, striking or cursing a parent was a capital offense (Exodus 21:15-17; Leviticus 20:9). While we are under grace, the severity of these laws shows how much God abhors the subversion of the family order.
• Evidence of Moral Corruption: In the New Testament, "disobedience to parents" is listed alongside grave sins as a sign of a society that has rejected God (Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2).
• Spiritual Consequences: Disrespect toward parents can dim the "lamp" of one's life (Proverbs 30:17). It stunts spiritual growth and invites discipline.
• The Promised Blessing: In contrast, Ephesians 6:2-3 reminds us that honoring parents leads to a "well-lived" life and spiritual longevity. We see this in the example of the Rechabites, whom God blessed specifically for their faithfulness to their father's instructions (Jeremiah 35:18-19).
Opening Scripture:
"Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." (Ephesians 6:1-3)
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Introduction:
Honoring our parents is not just a suggestion; it is a command from God with a promise of blessings. It is a reflection of our relationship with God and a testimony of our faith. But how do we truly honor our father and mother? Let us explore five biblical ways to fulfill this commandment.
I. Honor Them by Listening to Them
Proverbs 1:8-9 instructs us to heed the instruction of our father and not forsake the law of our mother. Similarly, Proverbs 4:1-4 and Proverbs 23:22 emphasize the importance of listening to the wisdom and guidance of our parents. When we listen to them with respect, we honor them and acknowledge their God-given role in our lives.
II. Honor Them by the Way We Talk
Our words have power, and the way we speak to and about our parents matters. Proverbs 20:20 warns against cursing one’s father or mother, showing the severity of disrespectful speech. The New Testament reinforces this in Ephesians 4:25, 29 and Ephesians 5:4, encouraging us to speak truthfully and respectfully. Let us ensure our words reflect love and honor towards our parents.
III. Honor Them by the Way We Act
Our actions demonstrate the sincerity of our honor. Proverbs 15:20 teaches that a wise son makes his father glad, while a foolish man despises his mother. Proverbs 17:25 and 19:13 highlight how disobedience brings grief to parents. The Bible gives examples, such as Eli’s sons in 1 Samuel 2:22-24, who dishonored their father, and Samuel’s sons in 1 Samuel 8:1-5, whose actions led Israel to seek a king. Let us be mindful that our behavior reflects honor to our parents.
IV. Honor Them by Respecting Their Wishes
Respecting our parents' guidance, especially when it aligns with God's will, is a way to honor them. Daniel 1:8 illustrates how Daniel upheld the values he was taught, even in a foreign land. When we make choices that align with biblical values, we not only honor God but also show respect to our parents.
V. Honor Them by Caring for Them
As our parents age, our responsibility to care for them increases. 1 Timothy 5:4 and 1 Timothy 5:8 emphasize that providing for our parents is an expression of godliness and faith. Jesus Himself, while on the cross, ensured His mother was cared for (John 19:26-27). Let us not neglect this duty but embrace it as an act of love and obedience to God.
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Conclusion:
Honoring our father and mother is not a suggestion for a happy home; it is a permanent divine decree. It is the training ground for how we relate to all authority, including the authority of God Himself. Whether our parents were heroes of the faith or deeply flawed individuals, we are called to honor them because of the role God gave them.
As we honor them, we reflect the heart of Christ and position ourselves to receive the blessings of a life lived in harmony with God's design.
Honoring our father and mother is more than words; it is a way of life. We honor them by listening, speaking respectfully, acting rightly, respecting their guidance, and caring for them. In doing so, we not only fulfill God’s command but also receive His promised blessings. Let us commit to honoring our parents in all we do, bringing glory to God and joy to our families. Amen.
